Happy New Year 2013!!!

Dear readers,

Wishing you a Happy New Year 2013!!
How has the new year been treating you so far?

I have been absence with my unclear state of mind, wondering whether I should be moving forward or being stuck at this point of my life.

Part of me is scared of moving forward because I want to be in this position, even though it has its ups and downs. I do realize that this will be something that would change the way I live my life, it's killing me inside while I enjoy the masked version of happiness. Longing for someone to be there for you, and you found someone that could never be the one but instead you choose to lie to yourself that maybe one day that certain person will be the one. That is a total lie, and I really need to get over it.

Especially if I think it through logically, my brain would be screaming at my feelings.
"Why the hell are you feeling that way?? It doesn't make any sense!!"

The Wanted - Lie to Me

So kiss me and tell me I'm the one
There's no other, no other one you want
Baby, kiss me, make sure you close your eyes
Or we fall down

Don't say it's all for the better
Oh, I need you to lie, to lie to me
I'll stand for the greatest pretender
I know you won't die for me
But say you will
Just lie to me, to me

Now I can see, you bite your lip when you look at me
One word, you say, and everything is giving you away
Let's close our eyes and save the truth for one more night
Or I fall down

It's like I found my own personal Barney Stinson, and I'm being miserable just like Robin Scherbatsky did. Guess happy endings really only happens on TV huh?

I'll be 22 this year, adulthood seems to get even harder now. I'm not really sure how to deal with things anymore because I can't do it the way I used to. I really need to get a good kick start this year, I haven't exactly embraced the new year spirit.

Any ideas to make my new year brighter?
Anyone?